Given the popularity of this post, I'd like to remind everyone of Bill and Ted's Law: Be excellent to each other.
Bingo... dad used to tell me a joke. How do you keep a baptist from drinking your beer on a fishing trip?... bring another baptist.
Perfect title for this post 10/10
Jesus wasn't white and was a Jew.
Seriously though, when it comes to giving to the poor (something Jesus constantly talks about) there are just no takers. Welfare? Universal healthcare? Living wage? If Jesus were here conservatives would be laughing at him because he didn't charge for his miracles.
I had an argument with my mother about this. She called today on a rant about someone named Castro running for president and the country being ruined and "they" are taking over. We are both Christians and I reminded her Jesus said to love....Jesus said to welcome strangers. Wow. You'd think I told her to flush her head down a toilet or something. It's really simple, and she reads her Bible every day, but I think she must be skimming the Jesus parts.
“Right answers only”
This was an intentional or unintentional pun?
I love how they claim not to be offended but are the ones always whining and projecting
Other examples off the top of my head:
Hearing foreign languages spoken aloud.
Public displays of affection between members of the same sex.
Being wished a happy holiday.
Seeing a trans person.
I’ve always said that conservatives would despise Jesus if he were here today. It’s true. GOP policy is literally anti-Christ.
That sermon on the mount shit really fucks with people. It's bad for business when we are free.
"Don't worry about tomorrow"
"God's kingdom remains inside of you."
3 “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4 “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5 “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
6 “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
7 “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
8 “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9 “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.
10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.
Women who play soccer with pink hair and kneeling football players.
Ahh, its working already. So much salt in the comments